These Are The Days

Friday, January 18, 2013

Samuel's name on a rock

Samuel's name painted on a rock ...

Thank you Kyla :)

http://tossiestreeandpaintedrocks.blogspot.ca/

Samuel's name in shells

Samuel's name written on the sand on a beach in California ....

Thank you Tesha :)

http://www.teshastreasures.com/

A Poem for Sam

A Poem For Sam

Samuel John Blois

A product of love from John & Shannon

I'm special and loved by my family I know

I couldn't stay long cause God called me home

My home is in heaven with Jesus I'll stay

With family and loved ones I'll continually play

No sorrow or sickness or tears can be here

God's love is amazing ! There is nothing to fear

I've gone on ahead but we'll be together again

Where God's love will shine and life will not end

What a time we will have when you all come to see

The angels and Jesus, God's family & Me !

Dear Mommy & Daddy I know you are sad

But I'm home with Jesus and I'm really glad

Halley, Maggey & Cooper we'll all play someday

My brother and sisters together we'll stay

Hugs & kisses,

Sam & Jesus

My Uncle Johnny wrote this poem and made copies to pass out at Samuel's funeral. He also did wonderful programs to pass out :

Samuel's oldest sister Halley wrote this note to Samuel which was also read at his funeral .

Makes my heart warm to know how loved Sam was. How those little footprints were able to tug at heartstrings ....

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Happy Birthday Brooke

My niece Brooke is 11 years old today :)

Happy Birthday Sweetie !!!!

Sunday, January 13, 2013

If Only ~ My Baby Boy

My son Samuel has lived in Heaven for 36 days now ....

The initial shock and disbelief that this has really happened has started to wear off a little ...

Now we are in the " Trying to live with this " stage.

I keep replaying everything that happened in my mind, which helps no one and changes nothing I know ...

but for some reason it's where I go right now.

You see my baby boy didn't die because anything was wrong with him. He couldn't have been any healthier.

My body failed him ...

He was born to early ...

And he died ....

When your baby dies, you don't have memories banked of years together ...

You have lost the future together ....

You have the memories you would have made ...

and can only think about what you will miss ...

So we will always cling to the brief moments we had.

The months I carried him ...

The two weeks that I fought to keep my body from pushing him out ...

The very few short minutes he lived and the 4.5 hours we held him.

We will never feel that it was enough....

I can't even express to you how much this stinks ....

How we feel this is just not fair ...

The many times John and I have looked at each other and said :

Why us ?

Why our little boy ?

Why does everyone around us get to leave the hospital with their babies in a car seat ?

Why are we the ones whose baby had to come home in a casket ?

but then :

Why not ?

We know there is a reason ...

God's plans are always best - even when we don't like it or understand it ...

We may never know while we are on this earth ..

Or maybe someday we will ...

I'm sure it will get easier ...

Though right now it doesn't seem so ...

There will come a day when we will be able to talk about Samuel without tears ...

Where I will wake up and not think :

" Shan, just get through the day "

So for now ,

I'm thankful for the time we had with him ...

As brief as it may have been ...

Psalm 139 : 13-16

The perfect little foot ...

That so reminds us of a little foot that now runs around this house ..

The foot of his older brother's ....

His tiny hand on his Daddy's finger ....

We prayed for him, we longed for him , we waited for him, we loved him ...

and we had to let him go ....

In Heaven there will be no more tears ....

No more Mommies & Daddies standing by tiny graves ....

So in the future when someone asks me how many children I have ...

The answer will always be " I have four children "

Halley, Maggey, Cooper

& Samuel

Samuel was only here with us for a short time ....

Just long enough to leave a print on our lives ....

Long enough to change our lives ....

Just long enough to take a little piece of each one of our hearts with him when he left ....

Right after Samuel passed away, my cousin wrote a note to us on my husbands Facebook. I have read and reread this 100 times. It was one of the nicest things anyone could have said .. Brings comfort to me every time I read it ....

" I'd like to think that Sam was too special for this world. That God made him so wonderful, the only place he could live was with the Father Himself. And God, because of His love for you, Shannon and your family , let you meet him .... if only for a short time... So you would know and remember that you will meet him again someday. Then you will see and know why God kept him for Himself. God used you and Shannon to change Samuel from a thought in His mind, to an eternal being. When you meet Samuel again someday, he will stand before you and thank you for being his parents. For giving him life. "

Thanks Pam :)

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

It's only been a month ....

Thank-You Tesha for this picture ....

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Samuel's Prints

"There is no foot too small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world "

Friday, December 28, 2012

Our Tiny Son SAMUEL

I haven't blogged in over 5 weeks. Not since our world turned upside down. I still don't know what to write. I just want you to meet my Son. He was born to early. He was perfect. He was completely perfectly formed, 100% healthy. The only reason he died was because his Mama's body just refused to cooperate and he died shortly after birth. We tired so hard, but it was too late, the combination of a nasty infection, that caused pre labor, too many contractions, my body completely ready to deliver, a surgery that would have worked, had I not already completely funnnled open from the contractions. The surgery, laying head down in a bed and drugs trying to stop my contractions bought us too more weeks, but on December 8, we knew it was too late, nothing was stopping it anymore, I was in full labor, they had to cut my stitch. I now know there is nothing worse than feeling your little boy kick you perfectly healthy, until he drops into your birth canal while laboring and dilating clear to 10 cm. Knowing the whole time that your babies chance at life is 0-10%, and three hours later, at 5:16 p.m. , without a dry eye in the room, SAMUEL JOHN was born. He came in to the world at 1 lb. 3 oz. and my husband and I had to watch him struggle to breath and die in our arms. We kept him with us for 4 hours. Our children met their brother and wept over him, our families came to meet their grandson, and nephew. I never felt such pain. I've had a miscarriage but there is no comparison to holding and watching your baby die. I will write more later but for now, I can't hardly see the screen through my tears. So for now, a picture. This is Our Son. He got to spend his first Christmas in Heaven. We are so in love with him and will miss him for the rest of our lives.

Our baby Boy :

Samuel John